Viral Infection: Unicorn Sandwich Edition

This week has been filled with nonsense work that has fried by brain and forced my attention span to narrow so much that I can only consume the most mindless of media.  I decided this meant I should watch warped versions of songs that have become Internet memes.  [Note: Rebecca Black will not be featured] amongst other ridiculous shit.  So here are some audio treats (generous term) best served with a blank mind, a burning nostalgia, and maybe a bong.

Gimme Pizza ('Chopped & Screwed')---Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen

This song has been haunting me the past few days.  A selection from the You're Invited video series, which incited a smorgasbord of envy from me as a child, Gimme Pizza explores the childhood dream of putting every weird thing you can find on your pie, a fantasy brought to life once people watching this video start smoking pot and making poor sexual decisions.  The slowed down version also has a bangin Kitty Pryde feeling beat; (in fact, this could be a Kitty song, maybe she'll cover it...In fact, for comparisons sake, listen to
 Okay Cupid)

Anywho, so beware of watching either of these videos because they'll be stuck in your head ad nauseum and you may commit Internet suicide aka not update your Tumblr for a week or tweet n00dz.

Jonny McGovern:::The Gayest of All Time

K. Urbz & Adele stood, but Chris Brown was too tired from beating his current flame

Basically the most fabulous song ever written, about a massive dance party with every queerfolk in the universe coming together on the dancefloor with an open bar...essentially, Heaven. Plus side: everyone knows how to dance and is dressed fabulous. And Chris Brown isn't invited. 

[Frank Ocean totally is though]

Eddie Noack:::Psycho

A song written by Leon Payne, this tune has been covered by many an artist, (Elvis Costello being one of the more famous ones, although Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman did a cute married couple version) Noack's version is by far the most unsettling. Another Internet bro made an 'edgy' video to go with it, chock full of found footage and other weird shit that serves merely as a moving pastiche of visual stimulation.  You can also close your eyes and draw the pictures Noack paints in yr skull, they're more terrifying anyway.