GUEST BLOGGER: My Cool Reggae Friend

Half of a phone conversation taking place one fateful Wednesday afternoon...

Dude, like what's goin on? 

U chillen? 

Me 2 man, always chillen.

Oh ur at work? Bummer, I'm just ripping some tubes, watching cartoons, staring at my Rasta colored Christmas lights, burning some Nag Champa so Mom doesn't get pissed.

"Just a colorful vase Mom!"

Yeah I can totes write 4 ur blog man, I don't need to put on pants right?

Sweet, lemme pack this Bart Simpson shaped steamroller and I'll hit these Internet folk with the most groovy, Irie of vibes.

Ok, I'll stop typing my responses as I say them.

HEY INTERNET DUDES

I'm the guest Blog Wizard today, so brace yourself for some serious vibrations. I had a dream one time I was born in Trench Town and had huge nappy dreads and said things like Wagwonn and riddim.

Then, my poser sister woke me up with our fat dog and I was exiled back to Babylon forever.

#Poser

#DolphinSwag

Ever since then, I have become a quagmire (not like Family Guy, although remember that one where Quagmire married Peter's maid and they saw talking dolphins and then he faked his own death by dinosaur and robot ninja? Man, that show is the best. Oh right, lemme get out of this parenthetical…) of
knowledge on the topic of Caribbean music. 

You all have that friend, the stereotypical stoner cliche who listens to mostly reggae and Sublime, owns at least 3 tapestries and whs embedded many a smokeable word into their lexicon. You know, the easily distracted friend who giggles at everything you say and eats all your Cheez-Its. Well I'm definitely not that bro guys, I'm like, pretty high functioning.  One time I even wrote a piece about Caribbean music for my friend's blog My Cat Took My Acid.

Dick move bro

So here is some significantly less rootsy island music from Zion to impress your highbrow stoner friends with. No Bob Marley (although Bob is like, super awesome) or cheesy caricature reggae, just some selections from PRINCE BRETT DA RIDDIM MASTER RUNNIN JAH SOUND SYSTEM FOR I AND I!!!!!!!

(oh shit, can we take that part out? I don't want people knowing my name, in case the government reads this and finds out I downloaded the Snoop Lion album and Jorge Cervante's DVD Collection on The Pirate Bay.)

My cat, Mr. Whiskerbunz

Mighty Chalkdust:::Ah Fraid Karl

Written as a response to the Sedition Act, the Jamaican government's attempt to quell the negative criticism they received from their people, Ah Fraid Karl is a politically charged song with a groovy beat. The name comes from former Jamaican Attorney General Karl Hudson-Phillips and his part in the Sedition Act, with the song effectively dismantling Karl's hopes of becoming Prime Minister [via sticking it to the man.] Even if you have no interest in the political scandal it hints at but won't directly address, you can like totes throw it on and groove out to the island riddims. Irie as fuck.

Niney the Observer:::Blood & Fire

A reggae classic, Blood & Fire is driven by a thick riddim, and is chock full of ganja-friendly Rastafarian lyrics.  The repetitive guitar riff rings in your head for days and the bass wibble wobbles all over the place (but not in a dubsteppy kind of way, obviously) but the rhythmic elemtns unify to create a stellar groove perfect to burn to.  It was also sampled by some chick named PJ Harvey on her allegedly incredible album Let England Shake.  I once rolled a doobie on my sister's copy of that album, she totally vibes to it, but being a reggae connisseur I know nothing of these hipster vibes.

King Tubby:::A Murderous Dub

King Tubby was the father of Dub music, a true legend who started out as a studio engineer and had the idea to "re-dub" existing recordings through his 12 track mixer and twist the production around, emphasizing various parts of the music and pulling them in and out of the track, creating something that sounded entirely different than the source material. A Murderous Dub (and all of King Tubby's work really) is good for people who maybe don't like reggae, but listen to bands like Animal Collective and Godspeed You! Black Emperor who make lots of weird noises that hipsters dig. He has a boatload of good tunes, and you can't really go wrong with any of his dubs, so this song should serve as a good jumping off point. Bonus points: sophisticated stoners dig dub over reggae, so play them some Tubby to show off how relevant you are.



Peace out Internet dudes, I'm about to make a T-Bell run, I only need one more punch on my Taco Bell frequent flyer card to get a free Crunchwrap Supreme, #bitchin!

Crunchwrap Supreme [via American Horror Story]

DUSTY VINYL: Biff Rose: "Roast Beef"

Biff Rose: Roast Beef

Today’s find will be a rare offering from outsider artist Biff Rose, his 1977 New Year’s Day album Roast Beef.  

Biff Rose is most famously known for writing songs that people way more famous than him made famous, specifically David Bowie, who covered “Fill Your Heart,“ and John Denver, whose version of “Molly” scored him a minor hit in 1970.  

fig. Beef {Biff Rose & beard}

fig. JD {John Denver, thinking about Molly, vibin 2 birds}

 

fig. MDMA {too much Molly.}

Although originally released by Down Pat Records, the last copies are being sold via Drag City and owning one of the few remaining original pressings of this quirky LP is quite the treat, even if it smells more like old cardboard than tasty deli fare.  

The entirety of the lyrics are handwritten and printed on the front and back of the album, offering a more interactive listening experience, as well as a road map to the improvised diary that makes this album so unique.   

Financed by Michael Nesmith of The Monkees and recorded in one sitting, Roast Beef is a strange adventure into the mind of a man who may very well have left the building long before we arrived.  

fig. Clarksville {Michael Nesmith, money on his mind}

On Roast Beef, Rose offers up a winding, stream of conscious lament on loneliness, longing and love lost.  The songs aren’t separated by empty sonic space or key changes, but are weaved together through frenetic key jingling breakdowns that coincide with Rose’s own desperation.   

Side A opens with “Home Is Just As Good As Anyplace,” a somber mantra to perpetual loneliness that sets the overarching tone for the entire album.  This lonely wandering is continued in “When We’re Together (I Don’t Want to Get Caught)” and “Love All the Time,”  songs that are really only distinguishable by their lyrics on the sleeve.  

 It is only when we hit playful gems “Hello Dolphin” and “Music Fills My Burp” that we are introduced to the man at the heart of this album: a gentle, silly guy who wants a cute girl to squeeze while he drinks a beer on the couch.  Side B is when the happy façade visibly fades and we find Biff staring at empty walls once more.   

fig. DIY {Biff Rose going grassroots as HAIL}

Some would call this a break-up album, but really it goes far beyond the constraints of an actual relationship and into the territory of obsession.  Rose simultaneously pines over one he lost, one he loves and one he’ll never have and begs the question: are they all the same person? 

“Hello, Beer Can” and “We Were Only Fourteen” are the highlights of an otherwise uncomfortable Side B.  You can feel the creative gusto that controlled the course of the first side slowly starting to lose steam [via steamboat] but this is not to say the remaining tracks are mediocre, they just feel a little redundant amongst the ocean of piano improv.   

We understand you’re lonely Biff, now get up from that piano and do something about it. 

While this record may not be a strong cup of pop sensibility, it is nonetheless a fascinating offering from a unique artist and provides a rewarding listening experience for those brave enough to chart the choppy cognitive current of the Rose Sea.

FOR FANS OF: Daniel Johnston, Harry Nilsson, Randy Newman on some weird drugs

LISTEN TO: Music Fills My Burp, Hello Beer Can, Anxious Moments, We Were Only Fourteen

USE THE BATHROOM DURING: More Than He Does, Time Was Very Long Ago, Afraid to fall In Love Again

BEST SERVED WITH: Pull tab beer, warm lighting, roast beef

VERDICT: Solid lo-fi weirdness to impress that cute hipster vinyl nerd, or maybe make them commit suicide.  Either way, definitely worth a listen